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ahh... i can't use msn for god sake! how am i gonna survive this when i hav nothing to do at home!! shit! this is so shit!

valen and juli wants to accom me to do volunteering job at the children's society but damn it i can't go!? okie problem is grandpa is in hospital and so i've to accom dad to hospital to visit my beloved ah gong so tt he won't be lonely... but other than tt i have almost nothing else to do...
sometimes i've got the urge to go town or find a job or do volunteering job.. but but but....
ughhhhh i dunno...

okie grandpa is doing the scope tonite or what for his intestine.... and scan his lungs cox his blood count is low and so the doct wanna see if he has got internal bleeding tt kind of thing.
he is scared and bored in the hospital.sorry ah gong hang on there, soon you'll be discharged! and back home!! :) LOVE you ah gong! i'll be there for youuuuuuuuuu!!

yest nite i dunno what went wrong with my hair so i took the scissors and started cuttin lik i'm a professional hairstylist keke. i used to do tt when my fringe grows abit out of shape so tt i look better hah but i dunno my standard dropped lol hahahhahaha i ended up with very short china doll kind of hair ahhahahahahhahahahahahha!!!!!!ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

with tt retard look i can only use my straightening tongs to make it look better... gosh.. yes my hair tends to curl.dun be fooled when you see tt my hair looks good... keke i starighten it everyday... oops tt's my secret shhhhhh

now i just wanna go back to kimage for a good haircut and soft striaghten it. BUT IT WILL COST A LOT!! -_-""

HELP......................................................I've to go back to sec on 2nd april for the speech day. i just wanna look good la.

THIS IS A JOKE I CAME ACROSS(AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA):

In desperation, the mother of the four-yr-old gal said,"if you keep suckin ur thumb, you'll eventually blow up up like a balloon!"

The next day the mother and her daughter attended a small socail gathering. among those present was a woman who was obviously pregnant. the little gal spotted her and couldn't herself.

She walked up to the expectant woman and said,"i know what you've been doing!"

went hospital relunctantly today again...and yes i witnessed another life and death incident-someone passed away again and i see pple cryin kind of thing. wooosh this is ugghhh really bad. when i walked around to satisfy my KPOness i saw 3 policemen but sadly they weren't good lookin hahahahahaha.....yeh was wat i saw this faithful afternoon visit to ttsh level 7 wardB hahahahaha...once again other then those stuff i'm bored..ZZZZZzzzz...

hahaha tt's right man...

is this scary enough?

quote for the day!!!:
men spend most of their lives worrying about things that never
happen. -moliere

this is yet another boring day, waiting for me to count every single seconds, minutes and then hours til monday takes over sunday.....zzzzzz

QUOTE for the day!!! :
the secret to success is constancy to purpose -Benjamin disraeli

haha!!! i signed up for the teachin as a career and recieved a letter to go for an interview at moe. anyway i signed up not because i wanna be a teacher but then if i dun sign up my mum is gonna nag and nag and nag none stop. so its obvious tt even though i've gotten into my applied food science and nutrition i still have to go for the interview! mum's purpose of me going for it is to test for my standard! she wanna see if i can get in but then of course i'm not going to nafa if i get through-this is total madness. what kind of bullshit is this! well this morning i woke up and she just told me i dun need to go for the interview cox somebody just had an accident there at buona vista mrt station...someone passed away there!! so the superstitious her said i dun need to go!!!! yeh man!!! celerbrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!keke can you believe it?! because of tt she changed her mind to let me off keke oh lord thank you for helping me solve this problem!

QOUTE FOR THE DAY!!! :
A coward is incapable of exhibiting LOVE; it is the prerogative of the brave. -mahatma gandhi

just got back frm da hospital to see my dearest grandpa. anyways an old man beside his bed just passed away!the day before i saw him warded in and he looked perfectly alright but the next day he's gone. the machines were still there and i felt pretty threatened by them.. gosh i dunno how my health will be like when i reach my golden years so i better watch my diet and exercise more frequently now-better safe then sorry.

sat at my bed side after tt night
counting the little stars in the sky
prayin for angels to comfort me
i passed into a deep slumber
beyond the sea of visualization
i saw you in my dreamland
felt you in my dream
shattered in reality
heard you whispered in my ears
awoke to see you now where beside me
dreamt of you last night
we had the whole world to our own
you held me tight
told you you'll be mine
and i'll be yours
but its only a dream my gal
my vision blurred upon the tot of you
how much i yearnedfor this to be true

oh look
how ur eyes send me back again
how the touch swept meoff
how you make my world reverse
all my effords to let go to waste
you makeme wonder
like the little countless stars
you make me wantfor more
you're a drug tt give me all i need
but its only a moment of eatasy
when you are gone
i feel terrible
the time seem to stop
and everything seem far and beyond
am i fighting a losing game
when all seem apparent
how could you just walk away frm me
when all i could do is watch you leave

i sipped my bitter sweet coffee
it tasted lik my heart
awfully cold and heartbrokening
i looked out of the window
wanna fly away lik the little birds
to whither i feel better
i closed my eyes to see u again
i tried to reason bout love
but i lost my reason

you shouldn't hav
you shouldn't hav dropped my wrong hopes
hav i been thinking too much
i'm a human with emotions
hoping for miricle to befall
will you turn back and look at me
take me or leave me alone
leave me alone to wither and to wane
i need you in my life
want you by my side
but when i reach out for you
reach out to find myself all alone
you left me alone to walk this journey

i couldn't get to the other side
its harder than before
it dun used to be lik tt
dunno why i'm stuck here
get tangled up the more i struggle
i've decided to follow my heart
i knew the risk
the risk of hurtin myself even more
no matter it would bring
i went on blindly
thinkin tt i'll meet you there
the path seem blur
i can't envisage my next step
will it be a dead end or another fairy tale ending

not long i came to this junction
the maze gave way to an evident route
i see frm a different perspective
even the air smells nicer now
i abandoned all my doubts
all my sorrows and my desire for you
with a lighter load i hope for a carefree mind
perhaps the sun shinesbrighter there
no point dwelling on an unanswered quest
no point forcing in an unfitting ring
and said everything's gonna be alright

-yinglong

Grow through it to see the rainbow tt belongs to you..

.
This is part of growin
life is nv a bed of rose
sometimes we need a little challenge spice it up
bt nv let rejection in life pull you down
as long as you have tried

when you see a dead end
there is no way you're gonna let urself into tt path
take a deep breath
look at where you are
you are free to change a new route
afterall you control ur life,not others

love is all around
but some just dun belong to you
if its not,let go and go on
its not the only one
there are many more out there
dare to venture
opportunity comes and goes
but obstacles are everywhere
fallin is painful and unavoidable
but you must learn to stand up again
and continue ur journey
cox givin up is nv the best solution

repeatin the same mistake is foolish
i knew it yet i still allow mysef to bump onto it
some pple need to learn through the hard way
some are still struggling
some have won the battle
and i'm fighting my way to victory!

-written by yinglong

OMG!! i'm almost bored to death and its bloody torturing to keep me home all day!!i stepped out of my house twice today-bought coco crunch for breakfast and helped my grandpa buy bananas. hehe i've finally cleared all my sec bks and no kiddin, if you were to stack them all up its highier than the ceiling. hmmm i'm going back to yjc on wed and i hope its gonna be cancelled at the last min again. see i'm so free i'm actually thinkin if i should wear the black t-shirt or my sec uniform.....(-_-"') i'm truely boooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeedddddddd... other than sittin in front of the com all day long or read story bks, can someone suggest anything else i can do? i'm half rotten... by tmr i'm be a dead corpse layin on the bed keke.

hey anyway i've been readin this health book recently and for pple who wanna lose weight here's one suggestion:chew ur food thoroughly, makin sure tt you dun feel any lump until you swallow so tt by the time you finish ur food you won't be tempted to go for more.because the mind, throughh habit and reflex mechanism, is often the primary trigger tt prompts you to eat. this largely intellectual hunger is satisfied completely only by engaing in the process of eatin for a long enough period of time. if you devour a large amount of food in 5 to 10 mins, as many pple do, ur mind may still crave more. however, if you take 20 to 30 mins to eat tt same amount of food, you will start to notice tt second potion no longer seem attractive.few pple really need to eat as much as they do. short of real starvation,hunger is mostly a mental process, and the mind will not be satisfied id you stuffe caloric content of the food was substantial.

my mum realised tt i dyed my hair and she was nagging at me again!hello?i think half the population have dyed hair and i don't see any problem in having a different hair colour so what is the big deal?shut up alright? she is always full of nonsense and come up with her own logic which is obviously a pack of rubbish!i think she is sufferring frm monopause tt's why.

went to the temple today cox ma wanted us to thank god for answering her preyer.but honestly i went for the sake of not upseting her and thank god i didn't get above 20 pts. i saw an old grandma having difficulty lighting up her joss stick so i went over to help.ya know helping pple is nv troublesome and in fact what you get in return is a great feelin of self-satisfaction and the smile on pple's face;) dunno even a simple think like tt makes me feel so happy..after tt we went to another temple near parco.my god!!its so crowded i wished i could opt out!i'm gonna tell you how horrible it was okie. we were 300 feet away frm the temple and i was already threatened by the crowd.we bought the joss stick frm a cart stall and lighted it up on the spot like what pple did. some pple were holding those really big and thick giant goss stick while i had those small skinny ones(just like me). it was there tt the crowd start to form;the level of crowdedness is so serious you could hardly move a single step foward or backward-just imagine how packed it is.not only so, almost everyone of us were holdin on to our joss stick under the afternoon sun.i was lucky tt i didn't get heat stroke or choked to death by the thick smoke. you know how long we have been standin there stationary?my joss stick was almost half way gone before i get the chance to step into the temple. by the time i had done so, my shirt was dusted by the ashes. some dumb pple dunno how to take good care of their own joss stick but i won't blame them, considering the level of crowdiness. but my HAIR!!! asshole!! and one stupid woman started preying even before we are near the pot where we offer the joss stick. you know when you prey pple usually move the joss stick up and down? (i don't) was so squeezy yet tt stupid fellow dunno how to use her brian and shake her joss stick when chances are the hot ash will just fall on someone!! unfortunately i was the lucky one!!its hurts like hell la!! i stared back at her and thank god she stopped immediately and squeezed her way so tt she won't get curse by me. she was lucky it happened in the temple....those aunties are really typical kiasu singaporeans. wah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't stand them!!

1am-thinkin bout how to spend my boring day
my god!!!its so boring to stay at home all day long..a min seem to go lik an hour.but then since i'm so free, i'm thinking of doing something to my untidy bedroom and hopefully i'll do a major change to it(cox you know its so embarassing when friends come and see my yucky bedroom).and daddie wants me to BURN away my secondary tb!!! haha NOT REALLY burn keke just dump it away.wah daddie thanx for reminding me tt! sec school life is OVER!! but kinda miss being a senior and act like i'm some big shot ass.ya noe when we walk along the corridors classrooms those juniors would SIAM!! hahaha.... this is how its like to be in a gangster school like yuying. but thank god i'm not one!
2pm-reading mag
this is what the mag wrote bout cancer(horoscope): life keeps reminding you lately tt you are a real person in the real world with real responsibilities and,hey, reality can be a real pain. well, this month it's relationships tt take up tt theme. you may find yourself being hugely irritable with ur beloved or he with you. but you have some sortin out to do and the universe is on ur side. even small effords on the relationship front reap huge rewards.
-but hello? this thing isn't useful to me...i'm not attached at all... rubbish!

Hey do ya remember tt paris hilton sex video thing.. [she said tt she was really painful coz she was so in love with him. she was with him for four years and she don't remember filming it. she dun want to talk to him. he's a shit. she wished tt had nv happened.] but i tot she lik it.anyways she still the slutty her. hmmm interestin anyway..

well,my 1st 3 months in yjc is coming to an end.actually there's still 1 week plus to go before it officially ends but i've chosen not to go back after i've gotten my results.i may go back whenever i feel like but it also depends if friends are accompaning me.even if i go back you know the reason why...
funny why i dun miss him the way i tot i will.i dun feel empty or have the strong urge to go back.now tt he just come across my mind then i start wondering.valen told me its hard to maintain a relationship if both of us have little chance of meetin each other,let alone start one.quite true...i've begin to realise tt.but if you were to let me spend one day with him, i'll fall back again.sign...
i can't help questioning myself why he dun want to.
1-i'll leave the school soon
2-its too fast to start.(i'm too eager)
3-i haven analyze the situation before makin it clear to him
4-he is not into me
5-who do you think you are?!
but i tot its okie as long as he is worthy and good for me to go after.if two of us really feels the same then all the obstructions wouldn't have been taken into consideration!once i tot he was too selfish to protect his own emotional prob and leave me to go through all these myself.but then tt will be my own own problem.nobody told you to like him?!
anyways i'm lettin go faster then expected. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTT
HE'S STILL in my mind when i think bout love.he's still the one i'll choose if you were to ask me.he's stll the one whom i'll remember even decades later.now tt we see each other no more, he is slowly fading away...i may not stay in his memory but i'm happy to share the 3 months in the same school as him.one day when we were to meet each other again, i may think how silly i've been. watever it is,i'm grateful for the time we spent.i'm gratedultt god has decided to bring him into my life.now, i'm ready and await patiently for the 'bus' to bring to the next chapter of my life...
the sickening song 'live twice' nv fails to bring me to tears! cox it tells how i'm feelin now. the chorus goes:

if i could only let you noe

give up everything i own

just one more day with you

there's nothing i wouldn't do

how could i let it pass me by

i make every sacrifice

to bring me back ur love

if only we could live twice

if only we could live twiceeeeeeeeeeeeee

tmr its see ping's birthday but since valen wanna go to school, i'll go too.so instaed of meetin my friends at 12 i'll be meetin them at 2++..hahh..anyway y'day we are supposed to go but valen BANG SEH at the last min. (the reason why i wanna tell you this is to make valen feel guilty kekeke) she went to cut her hair!! wahh! i'm so curious to see how its gonna look lik! hope she styles it to look more punky. hehe then when both of us step into the school pple can feel the wind!!!i'm dying my hair purplish brown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!expect the unexpecteD!... -yinglong with purplish brown hair...can you feel the world shakin?

1am
quarrelled with my mum late in the midnight again.i'm really tired okie;idun wanna quarrel with her anymore.i noe she is concerned bout where i'm going but i ain't gonna go where she asked me to!its my future not hers.
i've been tellin her so many times tt being an art teacher is the last thing on my mind but she keep insisting tt i should go no matter how i explain to her.ya,career wise its a secure job but talkin bout where my interest lies-teachin is really not my type!!and ya know its a job tt require a lot of commitment!!!she tot its an easy job? bullshit!!........i dun wanna end up in the IMH for god sake...
10am
went to jimmy's house and brought back a bruise(small one).it's all bcox of tt jimmy and noel!two idiots!!i tot i wanna leave the room coz i might get hit by the ball but its obviously a very wrong decision.the ball juz came flying right onto my face the moment i stood up-my specs flew off and i spitted tt chewing gum out of my mouth. know what? i sat on my chewing gum and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! its all over my pants and jimmy's bed !!!shit!
okie tt's tt.later when we finished our lunch at KFC,we were playin tt ice spittin game and guess what? my slippers broke off!!! (cox i was running about)..OMG............... so i've to go and get a slippers frm those aunty aunty 'oullu' shop.. WHAT A DAY!!!